Tuesday, March 26, 2013

a story of love: leaving amsterdam 2

so as i said before, it is time to get out of there, for now there is no turning back. and every time i called my father to tell him to send me to this other uncle i have in paris, he said no and no, but i couldnt stop at nothing, i told him if he sent me to have a better school education and better deploma, he should sent me to a country that i can speak their language, not sent me to a random country, where i can not study the language there, and if i want to come home to my own country with a deploma, don't he think it is a wise do study in the language education of my own home? After to much talking a long 2 months, he finally said yes, + the money would be cheaper in france, even the airplane ticket. With the blessing of god, that what happenned, i will fly to paris and start over, the funny part i didn't even start to start over. i was so young and all the event are blurey and i don't recall every thing that happenned, only the head lines. but i do remember this, my uncle not understanding why im leaving him, he gave me a good house, good place to study, he gave me good allowance to buy whatever game or dragonballz cards i desire. and yes i keept in touch with my uncle these few years i lived after amesterdam, but he never understood why? To tell you the truth, i am glad i left amesterdam, if i didn't my life would be different. but god thought it is to live this life, with the drama, and happiness and every thing i lived through. so at age 9 and half i find my self standing in france airport '' CHARLES DE GAULLE'' that is the name of the airport and hello my next 2 years of life.

Monday, March 18, 2013

the eye trick

i already got alot of people calling me a liar every time i try to talk about this stupid leaving, and i learned that people wont believe the hard, and they will believe any thing that their eyes can see, even if it is a illusion, people will believe it, we all heard the stories about people who got lost in the desert and they see water, and in the end they end up eating the sand, thinking it is water, so much stuff i cant even begin to count, our eyes sometime trick us to believing somthing isn't there, like ufo... speaking of which if there is advanced people or avanced thing any there, they wont just observe us, they will show them selfs, look at our advanced nation, the more advanced, the more stuff you need to stay at that stage. any way aliens didn't show them selfs, in my mind there is 2 reason, either are the most advanced people in this universe or aliens dont exist, you can pick any reason because i dont care less about aliens. Dikart talked about this, about the 5 senses in the humain can trick you and now after around 300 years i say the same words and peobably alot of people will say: you are wrong! meh whatever, next post i will talk about how i left anesterdam, netherland

Sunday, March 17, 2013

leaving amesterdam part 1

ok time to leave the country, time to move on and never look back, but as you guys remeber i still 9 years old, i dont have money, i dont even have the right to a job + my uncle was so good to me, that is hard to tell him that i am leaving for good. i can imagine he will be devistated, he will think it is all his fault, and he was bad, that would complex him for life maybe it will handicap him with his own kids when he have them, so i thought i need to think of somthing that wont hurt my uncle so much but my number one objectif is to get the hell out of there! maybe you think this kid is crazy, why he leaving a good home with good uncle + it is one of the best countries in the world, so why leaving? well i dont know how to think at that time, and maybe even if i do know hoz to think, i dont even remember or maybe i was just crazy all i know is i called my father told him that i couldn't learn dutch, and since i know some of french, i asked him can he send me to france, and maybe there i can study a little easier and i have so many uncles who lives in all of france, because it is famous imnigration place for tunisien place he said no, for more than 2 month than

Monday, March 11, 2013

my new freindship part 2

alright let me finish the new freindship today! ok so after few days from that day on the park, i was again going by the park, and i found the same kids playing, they looked at me and continue playing like i wasen't there, i dont blame them because they probably think that i am arragant... or whatever for not talking to them last time, so this time i set in near by bunch and watch them playing, untill someone from them came to me and said somthing:******* (can't understand the lanbguage) so i asked if he speaks english, he said no, but some one in the crowd said '' i speak engliish!!' and his name was patrick (false name), i explained to him that the reason i didn't talk to them last time was because i dont speak the language (and as u can see it is a big fat lie) but i couldn't tell him the truth any way he said language or no language, welcome to the city and if i want to play i may, their 1 player shor, so i did, i dont remember having so much fun in my life it was a good time and than we went for fresh drinks (coca cola my fav) any way this guy patrick was the ffirst freind i made, and hhe was the first cause every 1 didn't speak english, he asked me to come to his house so i did, his mother was super cute and we played DS. you probably wondering why my mood changed, well because there is a part of me who want adventure and get bored from lonliness, and i become a social freak LOL but i couldn't trust him at first and that is how i am, can't trust people easly, how could i? my family hurt me, how can i expect people not to hurt me???! but few days later we were walking from the court to home, when some 1 called me'' hey arabic kid'' come here i looked behind to see who is the person who calling me arabic, and he was a huge kid with 2 slim freinds, laughing. i said: yes? sup? he said: are u a bastard? i said: whatttttt? and he started laughing and gang up on me, patrick was more in chock than me he didn't do any thing first i got hit once, and down to the grown i ve been, with taste of somthing solty in my mouth (blood). my mind shut down from working, i couldnt think at that time! than a foot hit me in the stomac and another foot on my face. world is spining... i passed out. when i wake up i saw my freind like me on his knee and bleeding from every where. and the fat kid saying '' that is for helping arab'' he look at me and when he realize i was wake up, he hit me once, twice, third... enoughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! that word is went out from my mouth, this time somthing strange happenned to me, i woke up and i took the slim head (his freind) and grap the fat guy head and i hited them with each other, i hear them screaming! but no time for that the other freind of them hitting me on my back, so i grapped the other freind head and hited with mine, world is spinning again, but no time, i saw a metalic bar near by and i was so angry, even if i did commit a murder, i didnt think i stood there and i was gonna start to hit them but i couldn't, i stoped!!! why? god knows why! but im glad i didnt kill any body at that night, i throwed the bar and went to my freind, helped him get up and we went home. the real hero was my freind he didn't run away, and he took beaten for me, he wasvery much scared but he didn't run away, than i knew i made my first best freind in my life

I took my freind to his home. Lucky for us. We passed so quickly through the living room ( where his mother sits) that his mother didnt notice that we ve been beaten. Can u imagine if she saw us that night. Imagine the long discussing she will give us! And after all of that trouble, parents add some more. We ve been saved that night from parents blaming, and of cource they will add a long disscussing about that you don't have.to fight... The weird thing that parents always do the oppossite of what they say. U don't believe me?
Here is a example: they always tell you. Keep secrets. If some one give you a secret you shouldn't let people know...
But try to tell your mother a secret. She will tell your father. Father will talk to your brother and sister about , and now every one knows. Hmmm. Any way we are off cource back to our story.
And when we reached the bed. We didnt even have the power to remove our coats. We just sleept for god knows how much!
I wake up on mother screaming and father talking loudly. Is it the time of disscussing? Nah let me sleep
After awhile i woke up. The room was empty. I went to the toilet. Washed my face, as i looked to the mirror i found that i am missing 1 tooth. And i look ugly lol. Hope i die before i grow so old and start loosing my real teeth. Any way, i went to the living room and there i found all of them looking at me sadly. I smiled to them. Than his mother looked at the table witha gesture. EAT
So i did. Didnt say a word. Untill i finished my food. I said thank you ma'am. She smiled.
U asking me why are they quite? It is easy because they have to tell me not to see their son anymore. They know it is not my fault. But who can blame them really?
I understand them.
I looked at them and said. U have a wonderfull son and you should be honored because his brave.
And his my first bestfriend and his my only friend really. And i dont attempt to use that as my defence. All i can say is that i am very honored to get to know all of you. And untill.we meet again.
And we met again after 7 years. In another country. Over seas ( usa) . I will get to that point 1 day in my story. For now i say. I left that home friendless and time to get back to my alien mode lol
So i did, and that what happenned. But soon i couldn't live in that country any more. Maybe because of the fight or maybe i lost my freind. All i know is time to move on!
Next post will be.preparing to leave the country.

My new freindship

Ok as i said before i felt like a alien in amesterdam and wished i was dead numbers of times.
And life went on the same rythm for more than 6 months.
One day i was walking by a park. And a football ball hit me on the foot. And when i looked up, i saw kids probably older than me about 2 or 3 years. They all looked at me and said something. And u dont have to be a language master to know that they told me to through the ball back to them. So instead of that i took the ball by my hand. Spined 50 degree and looked to the goal keeper.  And put it down and shot the ball with all the force i got. And it was a wonderfull goal. No one expected that force not even me. Later i knew the sadest and the angry i am. I become more stronger. Maybe it is usual for all people but i never asked)
Any way when i shot that ball i started walking away i could hear them yelling. But i didnt look back. I am just want to be left alone. I never had a freinds in my life and i dont want to start now
To be continued...

Saturday, March 9, 2013


As i wait for my future wife. In the train station. And waiting for her train to arrive
I wonder what brings me here. How many time god saved my life from real deaths. How did i grow up and not turning a syko? How did become this man today. God knows how. Because it is kind impossible even to me. How did i go.through my freinds death? Or...

Now if you excuse me. My love is nearly here. And dont want to leave her waiting

building the love story

1 of my freinds told me: dude where is your famous love story?
To that freind i say. Wait for it. It is still building and building. You need to know all the facts first than i will tell you.
Which is funny that only 3 freinds know this blog exist and i am trying to keep it this way. I dont people feeling sorry for me. Not cool. I only write to express my feelings. Its about time i do that...

First 6 months i spent in amesterdam

Well no one can douht that amesterdam is a beautifull city. It have wonderfull people as well.
But i couldnt feel like i can belong there. Maybe because i didnt speak the language... Any way the language made it very hard to comunicate with them and i felt like a alien in that city. I really did))
So i spent 6 hours in school from 9 am to 3 am than i ride my  bicycle all over town. By the way Holland is famous by it cycle routes.
Than in 8 pm i go home. Eat dinner with my uncle and sleep.
My family always called me every night but i never answered. Not even once. Maybe because i felt angry or maybe i didn't want to miss them.
I shut down all people and life it self. I wished i was dead. I remember passing near graveyard and went to 1 of the graves and said '' i wish there instead  of u "
With that said: you see i had troubled childhood,  no doubt

Friday, March 8, 2013

this i wrote back when i found my self alonewith no family, with no one: abonden by every one i am... to the sad world i entred... to a world i can not handel... every body lost the love... how come no one care about me any more... how come all the people dosen't search love... is love been left behind like i am today? there there love we are alone in this world for now... be with me today so i can be with you tomorrow... be with me love... and i won't let you go change my heart and make me strong... cause you: love, you come from god so no one can overcame you

the arrival to amesterdam

since it is my first day in here( blogging world) so i think i will post more on my story) so where was i? yeah i was in the terminal in ''Amesterdam city'' trying to follow the crowd, hopefully i will find my uncle, my only relative in that country and if i dont find him, god knows where i would be, but there is 1 problem is that amesterdam airport is of the biggest airport in the world and its very very easy to get lost in there, and that what happenned to me, i was lost, i couldn't find my uncle and he couldn't find me, he went to the information post and said to them is 'this kid'' was in the plane? in the same way iwas screamiing his name all over the airport, and some girls wanted to give me help me out and i was so glad that my father made me learn english when i was 4 but they couldn't help me cause no one of them speaks english, but after that someone who speaks english found me, he was not that scarry but his words were, : ''comme here little child, you lost your parents, come i know your parents, they are in my car waiting and worrying about you'' but i was lucky at that time, cause i known for a fact that he dont know my parents, how could he? they are not even in this country!!! any way i run away, hard!! and tried not to look back. and when i did look back, he was not there... any way i had no time to wonder where he went to, now it is time to continue my search, and after a few moments he found me, my uncle i mean, and than after hello and some huggs , we went to his car, and than to his house, he have a appartement, and it was clean and neat, but that clean that is not finished, there is no mistake, this guy dosent have a girl in his life, there is no man can clean better than a woman, and don't get me wrong i feel that cleaning is the responsabilty of man and woman alike and i respect than man and the woman who help each other out. any way this is not our story back to our story: he cooked us dinner and than i go to sleep, i would like to say that i couldn't sleep and i cried all night long, but that was not the truth, i slept like a baby, i was so tired end of second post the reason i'am talking about my life is because you need to understand where i ve comming from to better understand the love story i had

the start of my life

this is my story with love,
and this story you ready to read changed my life.
ok here we go:
my name is raid, i was born in tunisia, and if you dont know tunisia, it is a small country in north africa,
i was like any ordinary child, untill it came the day when i had my 8th birthday, my father decided to send me away, not to another school or even a state! he thought i should go to another country to live with my uncle, there i can have better life and better school education, i was so young and i didn't understand any of it, i was thinking that i did somthing bad, very bad, maybe it is because i broke my sister  barbie, maybe just maybe because they sent me away because i was not worthy to live there.
any way i cried alot on the airport , i remember saying i am soryyyyy! to my father
for whatever i did, for what ever i broke, and i was thinking my life would be over if he dont let me stay!
little that i know, my life is only starting...
that was my first chock in my life and that forced me to not having a childhood or joy for a long time.
expert say: a child can forget easly, u can chock him and he will be back as usual in few hours and that is what makes a diffrence between a adult and a child, but let me know this if that is true, how did i remembered??? and how can i lived every day sad, and i couldnt forget for around 5 years??
maybe your theory is deadly wrong, or maybe there is somthing wrong with me...
but the bottom line is your stupid theory dosen't apply to me.
any way, you probably wondering where did i went? what is this new country?
well it is europe and called 'holland'' ''natherland'' whatever you wanna call it